Oh oof this was a while ago and I haven’t watched the series in a while. But kind of?
More like, Mikage is very emotionally detached from social norms when we first meet him and is completely engrossed with his work. He is constantly referred to as “a human computer”.
When he meets Tokiko there is enough symbology to make you realise as he’s speaking to her he is very logically and coldly thinking to himself “ah yes. A female. I am supposed to marry one of these and start a family. She seems like a good candidate”.
“She is feminine and is doing feminine things. This is seen as attractive by men so this must make her an attractive partner.”
“Yes. This is good for what is expected of me. Starting a family with her would be a good move.”
While at the same time there is ONE singular moment with the flashing hand that is difficult to catch. In all the previous scenes the flashing hand makes a beeping noise. But in one singular moment during this scene while he and Tokiko are speaking, the camera pans over the other researchers walking to and from the hall and you can HEAR the hand but it’s not onscreen until the VERY last second and even then the camera cuts away before you can really figure out what it’s pointing at.
The hand is pointing at two men holding hands as they walk.
As Mikage is speaking to Tokiko and gauging if she might be worth pursuing as a partner as a Good Hetero Boy should. But this image shows just as Mikage is saying “They have gathered a good group of boys here who can continue my research”.
There is no solid way to interpret this as “Ah THIS is what Mikage means!” but I think it’s placement and the way the camera cuts away from it pretty quickly is pretty telling. Especially since the flashing hand in this scene has been showing us Mikage’s internal thoughts as he’s spending time with Tokiko.
It’s possible to see this as his thoughts briefly wandering to the male students in the program, and that doing so automatically, if only for a brief moment, becomes a dreaded GAY THOUGHT. which is why the camera cuts way from it so quickly and back to the room he and Tokiko are sitting in.
AND THEN. FUCKING. (sorry I am rewatching this scene and losing my mind at details I didn’t notice before)
FUCKING. AFTER THIS GAY THOUGHT. He is speaking to Tokiko about how the boys are spreading rumours that they are trying to revolutionise the world. But it’s clear he has no interest in this and says “It’s like they’re trying to build a perpetual motion machine” to mock them as ridiculous. BUT THAT’S NOT THE IMPORTANT PART!!!!
THE IMPORTANT PART!!! is AFTER this gay thought, and him dismissing the boys as stupid, the camera does a LOOOOOOONG pan over Tokiko’s body as Mikage says
GOD DAMMIT MIKAGE!!!!!
“If I run away fast enough the gay thoughts can’t get me!”
I AM GOING INSANE KSDHKSHDKHFDS
Anyway then Tokiko runs when she hears mamiya in the rose garden, Mikage follows her, and the SECOND he lays eyes on mamiya, Tokiko, very WEIRDLY, just leaves the room and walks away without Mikage or Mamiya even acknowledging her.
REAL SUBTLE.
The next scene has Tokiko explaining to Mikage how his research of attaining eternity is what could save Mamiya’s life. Even as she’s explaining to Mikage and her motivations, he remains emotionally detached from her, as he is only seen in this shot reflected in the mirror. Standing next to her, but not.
But when Tokiko sheds a tear and apologises for this, Mikage says, still reflected in the mirror, “I feel like this is the first time I’ve seen a person cry.”
Basically ‘This is the first time I actually feel emotionally responding to someone else’s sadness"
Baby’s first empathy… because it’s about Mamiya.
And then as he moves to leave and return to his research, this time with purpose, Tokiko asks him if he has anyone who is precious to him. That part’s not important. The important part is the next sentence she says as Mikage leaves…. having said for the first time he’s connected to someone’s sadness over the young boy….
And then he throws himself into his research
So that is how Mikage embraced the gay thoughts in his weird academic way. “Well it’s not TECHNICALLY gay if I’m just trying to save the life of the woman I have selected to be my partner!” And so the story starts to unravel for him.
TO get back to your question tho, Mikage is actually NOT chasing Eternity when he meets Tokiko. And his hetero relationship with here does not actually symbolise eternity to him at all.
He repeatedly says before he meets Tokiko that he is a “living computer” and describes himself as “a dry man passing dry days”. He also says the research isn’t going well, but he doesn’t actually care.
However, when he is at Tokiko’s home he is STILL expressing disinterest in the research when she brings it up. He not only makes fun of the other researchers as I previous said, saying “it’s like they’re trying to invent a perpetual motion machine”. He specifically refers to the research and his fellow researches in a detached way. THEY are trying to create a perpetual motion machine. THEY are trying to attain eternity. He is completely disinterested and detached from the research himself.
In fact he tells Tokiko
He even says “I have done more than what the contract called for.” (which incidentally he says directly before it cuts to the boys holding hands)
IT’S ALMOST LIKE HE ISN’T TALKING ABOUT RESEARCH AT ALL HMMMMMMM 🤔🤔🤔
“I was an emotionally detached man. Living on auto-pilot. I find the thing everyone else is doing to be stupid. But I am taking part despite being completely disinterested. The BOYS are extraordinary tho. But anyway, it’s stupid to want more. People should be satisfied with the chosen direction they already have. But purely for business reasons.”
*Mamiya enters* hey
“Oh shit now see THIS is a different story!!! I have something to live for!!! Doing this thing because of this BOY is now the most important thing in the entire world!!! I am a man possessed!!!!”
*whispers* nothing in this scene is about research.
